By Elaine Wilson, AFPS
Oct. 27, 2009
Elaine.wilson@dma.mil
A few years ago, a military family invited me to their home over July Fourth weekend. The soldier, an Army specialist, had deployed to Iraq a year earlier, but had returned early after explosions damaged his back and ear.
But it was the psychological damage that had the greater impact.
He was on a convoy when a suicide bomber struck. The Iraqi’s car was on fire and when he looked inside for survivors he saw a woman hanging out the back window and a baby engulfed in flames.
He told me that image had never left him. “I hear that baby screaming in my nightmares,” he said in an article I wrote about his experiences.
He later was diagnosed with and treated for post-traumatic stress disorder, an anxiety disorder that can occur after a traumatic event.
I was curious about how his PTSD had impacted his family and, perhaps more importantly, how they helped him through it. His wife pulled me aside to share her perspective of those early post-deployment days.
As her husband lit sparklers for their son outside, his wife spoke to me in hushed tones about his disturbing behavior.
She said the nightmares first tipped her off that something was wrong. “He would hear noises and keep asking me if I heard them too,” she said. “I didn’t, but didn’t want to tell him that.”
She said he also became agitated and upset while watching movies that reminded him of events in Iraq. She felt helpless, unsure of what to do to help. It was tough for her to understand what he went through in Iraq, she said.
“At the same time I was taking care of my son and going to work, my husband was being shot at and shooting others on a daily basis,” she said during our interview. “That was his day at work. How can I relate to that?”
She had a good point. It’s difficult for the families left behind to relate to what a deployed servicemember is dealing with in combat, or experiencing upon return.
A military clinical psychologist I spoke to at that time had some good advice for family members.
“When their husbands talk about their experiences, wives often say, ‘I understand,’” he said. “That shuts down communication. There’s really no way for the spouse to fully comprehend what their loved one has been through.”
He recommended that spouses encourage their loved ones to talk it out and listen patiently. “It’s better to say, ‘tell me more, I want to be here to support you,’ than pretend to relate and understand.”
The keys are patience and understanding. “Most importantly, don’t take things personally,” he said. “It’s not about you.”
The soldier and his wife I spoke to that day are just one family of many dealing with PTSD. Fortunately, they sought help through their military treatment facility and were able to start on the road to recovery. I’ve lost track of them over the years, but I hope they’ve continued to seek help and have found healing.
But many others are just beginning to tackle PTSD’s psychological hurdles. By understanding the signs and symptoms, you’ll be better equipped to help. Here are some signs courtesy of Military OneSource :
– Re-experiencing the event: dreams and nightmares, flashbacks, anxious reactions to reminders of the event and hallucinations.
– Avoidance: Avoiding close emotional contact with family and friends or people or places that are reminders of the event, loss of memory about the event, and feelings of detachment and numbness.
– Increased arousal: Difficulty falling or staying asleep, anger and irritability, difficulty concentrating and being easily startled.
People also may experience physical symptoms such as stomach and digestive problems, chest pain, headaches, dizziness and immune system problems, and may be abusing drugs or alcohol.
Military families have many resources to turn to for help with PTSD. Here are just a few:
– Military OneSource: Consultants provide information and make referrals on issues including combat stress and reintegration. Call 1-800-342-9647 or go to www.MilitaryOneSource.com to learn more.
– U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs Readjustment Counseling Services: Provides free services to combat veterans, even if still on active duty. The VA also provides some free services to family members of combat veterans. Call 1-800-905-4675 EST and 1-866-496-8838 PST.
— Tricare: Active-duty members must have a referral from their primary care manager to receive mental-health services outside of a military hospital or clinic. However, military family members and reservists or veterans who are covered by Tricare can go directly to a mental health care provider in the Tricare network without a referral or prior authorization for the first eight sessions.
–Chaplain services: Chaplains can provide counseling, guidance and referral on many issues that affect returning servicemembers and their families.
– Your military support services: Each service branch sponsors information and support programs for servicemembers and their families.
If you have a resource you’d like to share, please don’t hesitate to write in.
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