Army Chief of Staff Gen. George W. Casey Jr. and his wife, Sheila, answer questions at an Association of the U.S. Army family forum in D.C., Oct. 5, 2009. DoD photo by Elaine Wilson
By Elaine Wilson, AFPS
Elaine.Wilson@dma.mil
Oct. 8, 2009
Yesterday, I wrote about Army Chief of Staff Gen. George W. Casey Jr.’s speech about the future of Army family programs.
Today I’d like to provide the perspective from Casey’s other half -– his wife.
Sheila Casey joined her husband on stage at the Association of the U.S. Army’s family forum Oct. 5. She spoke to the audience, consisting mainly of spouses and family readiness group leaders, as one Army spouse to another.
Her main message was clear: military family members need to take care of themselves or risk burnout.
She called the stress of multiple deployments “incredibly difficult.”
“And our soldiers aren’t the only ones feeling the stress,” she said. “We all feel it: the parents, the spouses, the children, everyone. It’s hard when our soldiers are gone and, most often, it’s hard when they return.”
Sheila noted that a year home really isn’t a year as soldiers are busy training and preparing for their next deployment.
“Because the effects of these deployments are cumulative,” she said. “Twelve months at home isn’t long enough … for families to reintegrate. So the stress doesn’t just go away when the deployment is over.”
Sheila Casey, wife of Army Chief of Staff Gen. George W. Casey Jr., urges military family members to take care of themselves at an Association of the U.S. Army family forum in D.C., Oct. 5, 2009. DoD photo by Elaine Wilson
She also pointed out that it’s all too easy for spouses to set their own needs aside.
“The spouses tend to be caregivers,” she said. “And we put ourselves at the bottom of the pile. But you need to take yourselves from the bottom and put yourselves back on the top.”
The audience responded to that direction with enthusiastic applause.
“You need to find something to do for yourself, something that you love, and something other than doing something for somebody else,” she continued. “It is imperative. You are not going to be capable of taking care of anybody else, including your families, unless you take care of yourselves first.”
Sheila said she has met with many military families, soldiers and family readiness groups –- both from the active and reserve components — over the past two years and is “amazed at what you are all accomplishing on a daily basis, but I’m also concerned.”
She said the most common issues she hears about are access to quality medical and mental health care, access to quality schools for children and spouses, and improving the resources and opportunities for spouse employment.
Sheila said she anticipates that down the road when families are home longer “there will be a greater need for services as we start to see problems arise.”
She also noted the progress the Army has made in terms of family support. “We’ve seen it evolve from … spouses helping spouses network to a fully regulated support network,” she said.
“I want to let you know that they are working very hard to institutionalize family program so progress we have made won’t be lost,” Casey said.
I’ve personally seen family programs evolve through the years in the Air Force and later as an Army civilian. I know there’s room for improvement, but I believe our leaders are on the right track.
If you have feedback or suggestions about military family programs, don’t hesitate to write in. Your comments and suggestions are very welcome.